Author: belinda@wayofmindful

In the counselling room: Deeply Heard, Safely Held

It can be helpful, when choosing a counsellor, to get some sort of feel for how they work. I work in an integrative way, a style that incorporates different approaches that enable me to adapt to the needs of each individual client. One such approach sees each individual as having many different “parts”, or “aspects” of the Self and works with you in meeting, hearing, celebrating and embracing or re-integrating each of those different parts. With this way of working, the saying goes that “there are no bad parts”.

This poem gives, I hope, a sense of how this might feel…

Deeply Heard, Safely Held
In the room, I listen deeply, 
Opening to what is said
Turning, with gentle curiosity
to what lies unsaid.
A breath, held, gasped - rasping
breath for freedom leaping.
Movements jolting freed,
mind's tension...tight clasp released.

Oh, so gentle, so safe and warm the embrace that holds 
this space for all those parts
of you, unsure at first, then surely
quietly assembling for the telling
of love's hurt, banishments too many to remember,
of loving moments, to few to light the cold and cavernous dark
Until now...

For, in the room, I listen, for
different voices, tones
Rythm, pitch and timbre, 
all, when they arrive, 
are heard, deeply and safely held.

Parts that, long unfelt or heard, sight unseen,
have rumbled in the dark.
Words, turns of phrase,
cards calling from different parts
Felt senses, lumps, colours, tones,
no words needed,
till words they come
deeply heard and safely held

Til when, the part that until now
entombed within the cells
it starts to speak its name, is
deeply heard, safely held.

What is it that prompts us to go for counselling? For some we may be aware of discomfort, confusion or difficulties in some way that is obvious. For others of us, there may be something more subtle, we may find behaviours emerging – a self-medication of sorts.

We may just be aware of difficulties when we sit down, or slow down – a sort of discomfort, or even emotional pain – and we do our best to avoid it! Both in the counselling room and “on the cushion”, that pain is, of course, the “door” to held injuries, misunderstandings, illusions and eventually, through supported exploration, our own liberation.

In the Counselling Room: Wounded Heart

Do not fear the pain that calls…
…calls for you
it has much to tell you.
Listen keenly….for it’s cry,
if heard, calls softly, deep within
some distant vault.

Turning, gently as you can,
towards its call,
listening with your open
heart, the hearing of its words
a soothing balm…
…years on, deep wisdom’s sure release, from safe space,
held safely in the dark
until now, soft distant cries
lie felt, dimly at first then louder,
more sure, of love’s true rest.

Rest here, dear part, your longing
held securely, felt more clearly
Rest here, dear part
all’s well, your words are out
your pain is felt
and tender held.

Do not fear this pain
held safely, calling in the dark
Do not fear it, let
awareness gently
turn toward it
and embrace it
It is none other…a returning fragment
of your own,
dear wounded heart.